Summer is right around the corner. This is usually the time most of us start to panic, because it’s almost bathing-suit season. Be-outside-in-shorts-season. Wear-a-dress-without-tights-season. Instant access to endless information online (for better or worse) means we can easily compare ourselves to millions of people. But, it’s not about how others look or what they are doing or feeling, it’s about you and how confident you feel.
Confidence is our belief or faith in something or someone, like ourselves. It’s subjective and it varies from person to person, and day to day. We’ve crafted three mantras to help you be confident no matter what season it is.
I define what confidence means to me.
Confidence can be internal or external. It may come from your faith, family or friends. It could be smiling or laughing, or it could be putting on that bright red lipstick. Or maybe it’s getting a new haircut, taking a class, learning something new, wearing your favorite jeans or dancing it out to your favorite song. (There’s even yoga classes to boost your confidence!)
Whatever it is, make sure you define what confidence means for you. And, know that it will change from day-to-day, year-to-year.
“Something like self-confidence and self-love is not a destination I just arrive at. It’s more of a journey… I think it just ebbs and flows,” said Jessica Williams, actress and comedian, to The Daily Beast.
I am worthy.
As women, we know we can take on the world. We can work full-time, and workout, and work on our side hustle, and take care of everyone. That’s all great, but let’s make sure we take care of ourselves. Self-care is incredibly important to our well-being and overall happiness.
Don’t let external influences define what makes you feel confident. You are in charge of how you feel.
“You matter. You are worthy just as you are, and you are worthy enough to inhabit the center of your own life. You are worthy enough to have goals for yourself and work toward them. You are worthy enough to ask the question “What do I need?” and give yourself or do for yourself whatever that is,” wrote Shape Magazine.
You are worthy of doing whatever you want to make you feel confident. Whether that’s a mommy makeover or a new dress, a workout class or vacation. Know that you define what it means to feel confident. Figure out what makes you feel confident and go after it.
I will not feel guilty for being confident.
This is probably the most important mantra because it is too easy to judge ourselves, and others. And, it’s too easy to feel guilty for doing something just for you. Whether it’s Botox or a full-body massage, CoolSculpting or a facial, aesthetic and wellness treatments can make us feel confident, proud and happy. That’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s something to embrace and be thankful for.
Sometimes, confidence comes from our health. If you suffer from health problems that make you feel less confident, don’t feel guilty for seeking treatment. There are many ground-breaking and life-changing treatments for women. But sometimes, we feel the need to explain or rationalize why we want a treatment.
Ladies, we should never feel guilty for what makes us feel beautiful and healthy. You don’t have to justify taking action to make yourself feel confident—especially when it’s health-related.
Dr. Mayoni, a general surgeon and owner of a clinic in London, offers many beauty and aesthetic treatments for women, including treatments for vaginal laxity and urinary incontinence—two important issues in women’s intimate health that aren’t talked about a lot. We chatted with Dr. Mayoni to get her perspective on women’s treatments.
“Even in this day and age, we hate admitting we have something like this wrong with us,” said Dr. Mayoni. “I think it reflects on how we perceive our right to have healthy sex lives, post-baby bodies and sex, and of course healthy pelvic floors. Also, there are societal taboos with not being ‘normal’ and a lot of guilt associated with it too.”
Ladies, we deserve to have great sex (even after kids) and to not suffer from bladder leakage.
“I strive to create a clinic where women don’t need to feel guilty about getting help for themselves,” said Dr. Mayoni. “So many of my patients tell me they thought it was acceptable to have changes in laxity and incontinence post-baby. They didn’t realize that there is help for them. One-third of women who’ve had one vaginal delivery, go on to have urinary incontinence.This is huge!”
Tying It All Together
Confidence can come from many places, but it should start with you. It’s about your thoughts, your feelings, your beliefs. Whatever it takes for you to feel and function at your best, no matter what season. Remember: you define what confidence means to you, you are worthy of anything to make you feel confident, and you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.
“The most alluring thing a woman can have is confidence.” – Beyoncé Knowles